Edit: My apologies, I completely missed the part of the original post asking only for input from other female founders.
I agree that speaking up is the most effective approach, but it is also probably wise to be tactful about it. It is quite possible (as Chloe mentioned) that those making subtle comments may not even be aware they are causing offense. So there's a potential, though not a guarantee, to educate and avoid similar issues in the future.
Ultimately I think how effectively you can communicate this stuff to anyone is related to the quality of the relationship you have with them. Speaking for myself - I don't think I do these things but if someone I barely know (man or woman) tells me I'm doing something that doesn't fit what I know of myself, I'll likely not give it much thought (unless their delivery of the news seems well reasoned). If someone I know and respect tells me so I'll consider it deeply.
- In my experience, both men and women are equally adept (or inept) at making the discussion about themselves. :)