THis is an interesting discussion. I'm a technical guy who's built B2Bs, so I guess I'm in your target demographics. I also share your preference for finding a partner rather than contracting services.
First, let me say that this problem is true the other way around. It's hard for technical folks to find partners too!
Well, Alan just stole my thunder!
He describes the environment today for good developers very accurately, at least here in Silicon Valley.
So, I'll try to expand on his points. Mainly, that you should approach devs as investors. After all, you are asking someone to invest significant time.
1. The Idea: I like to say it needs to have "sex appeal" ...
staying with the dating metaphor.
2. More importantly, can we as a team, execute?
How would we cover the three jobs: development, design and "business"?
So, you need to show you can deliver the "business" role, which really a catch-all for everything else.
For me, an important element here is Customer Discovery. How well do you know Steven Blank's work and the Lean Startup?
Even if we like you and your idea, you may be losing people here because of something unstated but implied. As Alan describes it well, developers are often pitched sweat equity deals. Know that there is a great concern among developers of being exploited: we build the site -- while you sweep the floor -- and then get discarded.
Someone mentioned "protecting yourself". I think that's exactly the wrong way to go...
If you truly want a partnership, I think you'll have to "protect" the developer, and truly share the company.
I agree with the comment that the "right partner will want to co-create with you."
I noticed you didn't share what you're prepared to give up for the right partner.
In fact, as a thought experiment, pick numbers you're uncomfortable with.
That's the feeling the developer while listening to your pitch. :-)
this is why you need to "date" first.
IMHO, the dating / marriage metaphor fits pretty well.
At the end of the day, I think you should be prepared to do a no-divorce, All-In, marriage.
my two cents,
ps: the other alternative works of course: keep doing what your doing; raise funding; hire the CTO with salary and a lot less equity.