I couldn't resist adding this here:
A man receives a letter ordering him to attend the local tax office for an interview about his previous year's earnings. Unsure of what to wear, he asks his mate, who tells him to look very smart, wear a suit and a good pair of shoes to show them that he's an honest man.
Later on in the pub he meets another mate, tells him about his impending interview and that he's off to buy a good pair of shoes. But his mate disagrees, telling him he should wear old clothes, look very poor, so the taxman will feel sorry for him. By this time the man is very confused, so on the way home calls in at his cousin's house for advice.
His cousin is a wealthy businessman. "Well, my advice to you is the same as I gave my daughter, Marlene, when she asked me what she should wear on her wedding night - a long bri-nylon nightie or a short skimpy baby-doll nightie.
It doesn't matter what you wear. Either way you're going to get f*cked."